


I Think I Might Get Fucked Too!

by Euwrecker



Series: I Think I Might Get Fucked Too! [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 20:10:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9784067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euwrecker/pseuds/Euwrecker
Summary: Lapis finds a porno tape hidden in the barn and her interest in Human Mating Rituals begins to awaken. She has Peridot help her discover what it means to "Get Fucked".





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been going through some shit in my life and new episodes of Steven Universe always fill me with joy (unlike the fandom). Somehow after watching the latest episode I found myself writing a Lapis fic. This won't just involve Lapis and Peridot. There will be a continuation down the line that I'm not sure people who might like reading this one will enjoy, but I am working towards something.

It was an old tape scattered amongst the VHS’ of Camp Pining Hearts that caught Lapis Lazuli’s eye. Somehow, through all their reorganizing of the barn they settled in, and all the scavenging for material for their meep morps, this tape escaped their sight.

“Humongous Black Monster Dicks and Little White Chicks 13?” Lapis muttered incredulously. “Something about a farm full of monsters called dicks raising baby chickens.”

Lapis was fairly certain that wasn’t what the tape was going to be about, but even with how much Peridot helped her learn about humanity with the internet browsing and the soap operas, they still managed to find ways of surprising her.

Curious to see what she would discover, Lapis popped in the tape into a spare TV/VHS player combo her and Peridot recently found and sat herself down.

2 hours later, Lapis was filled with complex feelings and questions. How humans use their holes and fill them so thoroughly without hurting themselves, even making themselves feel good. How they could squirt fluid in ways that rivaled her own abilities. Those strange rods males possessed. It wasn’t as if Peridot hadn’t showed them human mating rituals when they discussed how Steven could exist, but at the time they couldn’t see the point in doing anything like that.

This video on the other hand, it was light going off in her head. Human sex felt good. “Sex” felt good. “Getting fucked” was pleasurable. 

 

“I think I might get fucked too!” Lapis Lazuli announced with confidence.

“Lazuli, one just doesn’t ‘Get fucked,’ Peridot retorted. “There’s a proper order to these things.”

“Oh, like you’re the expert on ‘Fucking’ The two were discussing the matter while creating another one of their ‘meep morps’, an emblem of Cookie Cat made from scrap metal.

“If you can’t master the ‘Date’ and the ‘Kiss’ then how will you ever progress to sexual intercourse? You’re doomed from the start!” Peridot scoffed and turned away from her in frustration.

“Well,” Lapis paused. “Maybe I could practice with you.”

Peridot blushed intensely. “Y-you’re being way too straightforward, Lazuli!”

“If I was going to have my first ‘fuck’, I’d want it to be with someone I trusted.” Lapis was rationalizing in her typical, blunt self, but her words touched Peridot.

“I….As horny as-I mean AS HONORED as I am I-I-I really can’t!” Peridot fidgeted nervously trying to get the words out. “I can’t shapeshift, you know? Hehe, Version 2 Peridots like me. We’re not feature heavy.”

“Peridot-”

“I TRIED, BELIEVE ME!” She interrupted Lapis before she could continue. “I almost got it once, but it was just some weird clitorus blob. Maybe if I really practiced I could manage a nipple someday? Maybe…”

“We could just use a strap-on.”

“One of those Male organ replicas with a harness? I suppose, if we could procure one of those it might be possible.” Peridot pounded a fist against her palm as if she solved a huge problem.

“We could just start with the ‘Dating’ and ‘Kissing’ part so we can go right to sex once the stuff gets here,” Lapis suggested

“Psh, Then leave the fucking for the other day? Do you even one night stand?”

“No I don’t, Peridot. Why stand around doing nothing all night?” 

“It was a figure of speech, Lazuli.”

 

An Awkward afternoon of searching through Amazon and the duo had ended up spending at least 200 dollars of allowance that Greg lent to the two buying clothing, sex toys and “lubricant”. The two debated on whether they should bother with condoms for accuracy but Peridot reasoned that if Lapis wanted to avoid getting pregnant, she could just not form ovaries.. 

“There was no way we could get human diseases anyway,” Peridot assured Lapis.

The two deliberately got one day shipping so they could begin their practice as soon as possible, but it was still a day’s wait. Lapis found herself uncharacteristically thirsty.

She couldn’t bring herself to ask Peridot to sit in with her. Lapis actually felt a pang of embarrassment. While Peridot rewatched Camp Pining Hearts alone, Lapis rewatched the porn tape she found and tried to form a vagina as best she could. Nipples were a feat she conquered months ago, but this was new to her. When she found herself in doubt, she checked anatomy photos on Peridot’s tablet and some old books Pearl left during one of her earlier visits.

Finally she formed herself one she could be proud of. A smooth, full pussy with delicate lips and a light tuft of hair to accent it all. The innards were meticulously formed, though she decided to leave out the hymen to ensure a painless experience. She could even pee with this baby if she wanted to!

Before long, Lapis noticed a moist feeling in her crotch, she reflexively moved her hand downward to observe and unintentionally brushed against her clit.

“AHH!” The feeling startled Lapis. It felt really nice but it was a totally new feeling to her. She wasn’t even completely sure she made it correctly. “Is it supposed to be that sensitive?” She asked herself. 

Lapis choose to set aside her fear and touch her newly made clitoris once more. She wondered why she even needed to buy lube when her pussy was so wet already. Once again she questioned whether this was how human vaginas were supposed to work or a manifestation of her own powers. Maybe it was a bit of both. The vigorous rubbing of clit sent her body into spasms and her pussy was leaking intensely

Lapis was breathing heavily and the urge to give in and cry out in pleasure was almost too much for her to bear. Still, Peridot wasn’t far. Lapis kept hoping she wouldn’t notice, but would it be so bad if she did? “It would be nice to feel someone else’s fingers.”

After having that thought, Lapis realized she forgot to try penetration. Nothing suitable was nearby so she settled for her fingers. She awkwardly felt for the entrance of her own vagina and carelessly forced 3 fingers inside herself.

“AH FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Lapis couldn’t hold that one in. She snatched her fingers away, her juices streaking out of her and used that same hand to cover her mouth.

She tried to steal a glance at Peridot, but she was still watching Pining Hearts. The TV was on rediculously loud. Rude, but it’s not as if there was anyone around to complain.

Lapis sighed in relief, then sniffed her own hand. It was an intense smell, but not exactly unpleasant. She sucked on her fingers to try the taste of her fluids and said juices tasted lewd as well. Lapis found a new appreciation for Humanity. If “Shlicking” felt good, then “Getting fucked” must be amazing.

Lapis stuffed part of her dress into her mouth to stifle her cries and started fingering herself gently. Her hips began to rock along with the rhythm her fingers established. Each shove sending waves of pleasure through her body.

Soon enough she was up to 4 fingers. It felt excessive using that many her first time, but Lapis felt greedy. She asked herself if Jasper would’ve been easier to subdue if she fucked her instead of shackling her. It was such a dark thought but it made her so much more horny.

A sudden vibration and her body spasmed wildly. Lapis had came and she screamed bloody murder into the dress fabric jammed into her mouth. Her pussy was squirting relentlessly onto the wooden beams of the barn. Lapis finally lost control and collapsed into a mess of satisfaction.

“I think you’ve been watching that tape too much.” Peridot’s voice startled lapis out of her daze and she jolted upright and tried to fix her dress to cover her exposed self.

“Peridot, I was just-”

“Taking your female reproductive organs for a test drive? I noticed over 15 minutes ago. Your liquids were leaking on my head, by the way.”

Lapis couldn’t bring herself to respond in any meaningful way other than to blush and cover her face in shame.

Peridot gently patted her back.

 

In truth, Lapis just wanted Peridot to fuck her silly with the strap on they bought from the moment the got ahold of the box. They could practice the “Dating” and “Kissing” when Lapis decided she wanted to ‘Call the booties’”.

“Still,” Peridot insisted. “There has to be a proper order to these things, you don’t just walk up to a prospective mate and tell them ‘hey you, lets nasty’, it’s disrespectful and unpleasant.”

“You’re always disrespectful and unpleasant.”

“DON’T YOU DARE LIE ABOUT MY ENDEARING AND LOVEABLE PRESENCE!” Peridot lowered her voice. “Besides, the same could be said of you.”

Lapis feigned pondering for a moment before nodding. “...Yeah I guess.”

 

Hipster? Butch? Numale? There were a few words Lapis could use to describe how Peridot decided to dress herself to get into her role as the guy Lapis was suppose to court. Probably a few memes as well. Not that she knew what mean of them meant.

Tight Jeans, a loosely worn flannel shirt along with a trucker hat. She was surprised Peridot didn’t go and paste a beard onto her face

“Oh man, I almost forgot!” Peridot ran off and within seconds, returned wearing an awkward fake beard on her face that was somehow almost the same color as her own Mountain Dew tinted hair.

“I should’ve expected this,” Lapis remarked in monotone. “You know, we don’t have to go all out with the clothing thing?”

“Nonsense, These ‘shirts’ are some of the most current Human fashion!” Peridot adjusted the collar on her button up flannel and gave a cute wink.

“You sure you just haven’t been hanging around twitter too long?”

“IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE PRESIDENT IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!”

Lapis raised her hands in resignation. “Alright alright… how did you get a fake beard like that?”

“Oh this? I made it myself. I have to match to keep up the immersion, you know.” Peridot nodded, as if pleased with her own ingenuity. Lapis just felt it was redundant.

“So can we just get started on this date thing already? I want to get to the good part already?”

“Lapis there’s a-”

“Proper order yeah yeah,” Lapis groaned. “Lets get this over with, peridot.”

“It’s ‘Brent’ now, Lapis.”

 

Lapis and Peridot stood in front of the bed, meant to represent Lapis’ home as well as the bedroom where Peridot would “Fuck” lapis.

“Wow, ‘BRENT’, it was sure NICE of you to take me out to the ‘MOVIES’ tonight. I’m so famished I could swallow a cock whole!” Lapis made wide arcing motions with her arms and kept her eyes wide, feigning awe.

“Jeeze, Lapis, cut down on the sarcasm. You’re real date’s going to think you’re a total killjoy if you talk like that!”

“This practice is ‘killing’ my ‘joy’.”

After getting Lapis out of her normal outfit and into a casual, but appropriately stylish graphic tee and legging combo, She and Peridot spent the past 2 hours practicing watching a film. Practicing such techniques as sneaking hand holding and leaning against each other, the two acted as if they were alone in a theater, from the comfort of their barn.

It was mind numbing, pedantic and awkward. Especially the part where Peridot hid a dildo in the popcorn and pretended it was her dick.

“Eh? Why don’t you give it a tug?” She offered at the time.

“You’re not even going to feel this,” Lapis sneered. “Besides, what if getting a popcorn handjob feels terrible to a human? I still remember getting one stuck in a tooth. Pure agony.”

The thought still gave her shivers. Peridot had to snap her out of her internal flashback.

“It was a pleasant experience watching the “movie” with you, Lapis. I hope we get to see each other again soon.”

“It was great hanging around with you too. why don’t you come into my house and throat fuck me like the dirty whore I am?” Lapis replied in the most sincere sounding voice possible.

Peridot facepalmed. “You keep doing this and the male you’re trying to court is just going to think you’re a slut. This is not that porn tape you keep watching!”

“Well, I think the human would appreciate my honesty,” Lapis protested.

“Or think you have an STD and refuse to mate with you!”

Lapis inched towards peridot and kneeled towards her to meet her face to face, “Listen, a date would be nice if I was looking to be with somebody, but I just want to try sex already.” 

With that said, Lapis took the initiative and kissed Peridot lips. Thoughtlessly following Lapis’ lead, their tongues explored each others mouths for a moment before Lapis parted from Peridot.

“... Okay” Peridot relented. “L-lets fuck.”

 

Lapis didn’t know how Peridot found the strength to pick her up and toss her onto the bed, but something about it aroused her on a primal level. In the time between their shared kiss and now, Peridot equipped the strap on and the size of the dildo she chose wasn’t exactly for beginners.. If Lapis couldn’t shapeshift, she was unsure if she could even handle a dick that size.

“Gosh, Peridot!” Lapis gulped in disbelief.

“They always say ‘It’s so big’ in that tape you were watching, so I figured you’d appreciate it.”

“I wasn’t paying attention to the numbers earlier but wow…”

Peridot chuckled “That’s not even the best part.” She clapped and the lights turned off, revealing that the massive dildo strapped to her groin was glowing a florescent green.”

“You’re such a dork.” Lapis giggled and continued to admire the size of the thing. Peridot’s shortness only made its size seem even more imposing.

Peridot produced a bottle of lube and started pouring some into her hands. “Got to get the shaft nice and slick so it feels good for you.” Lapis thought it was unnecessary. The anticipation left her soaking enough already.

Impatiently, Lapis began stroking her clit again. “Are you gonna punish me for being rude, Brent?” It was the weirdest thing to find herself saying, after having kept Jasper in submission under the ocean for the span of months, but Lapis found herself acting a little bratty. She turned around and pointed her ass towards Peridot.

Even Peridot was taken aback by Lapis calling her by the fake name she picked for herself. “Uh-YES! YOU’VE BEEN AN IMPATIENT LAPIS AND I WILL ADMINISTER FUCKING WHEN I PLEASE!” She rushed onto the stool placed in front of the bed and gave Lapis’ butt a strong smack.

“AHHH!” Lapis cried!

“APOLOGIZE FOR NOT GIVING ME POPCORN SUCC AND I’LL FUCK YOU UNTIL YOU FLOOD THE BARN!” Peridot Demanded

“But POPCORN AND SEX ARE HORRIBLE TOGETHER!”

“APOLOGIZE!” Peridot cried before smacking her ass again.

The feeling of Peridot’s hand striking her ass felt so degrading, yet Lapis was ecstatic. Her eyes were practically rolling back. “I’M SORRY I DIDN’T LIKE YOUR STUPID PRACTICE NOW FUCK ME. PLEASE!”

“Eh, good enough.” Peridot shrugged before taking the dildo strap on by one hand and massaging it against Lapis’ pussy.

The feeling, even through the leggings she was wearing, sent a shock through her system and Lapis coo’d gently.

“Oh, what ARE you DOING? This isn’t enough! Stop playing around, BRENT!”

“Proper order, I have to make sure you’re wet enough,”

“I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF WET! JUST FILL ME UP, PLEASE!”

“So needy…” Peridot was toying but Lapis’ uncharacteristic enthusiasm was feeding her own arousal. She violently tore into Lapis’ leggings and took hold of her booty mounds before shoving her fluorescently glow in the dark pussy destroyer metaphorically balls deep into Lapis’ virgin pussy.

Lapis cried out loudly enough for Peridot to snap out of her act.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry Lazuli-

“DON’T STOP IT’S GOOD IT’S GOOD!” Lapis pleaded in a slurred voice.

“Ah, al-alright then!” Peridot fumbled for a moment before awkwardly setting up a rhythm for her hip movements that would kept Lazuli making the happy sounds.

“Ooohh, it’s opening me up so much, Brent! KEEP GOING!” Lapis gripped the fabric of the bed while succumbing to the pleasure.

Even though Peridot was getting nothing out of this physically, something about the power dynamic set off something in her. Lapis never showed her this level of vulnerability before. It was fun. Even if she got no physical pleasure, making Lapis lose control in erotic pleasure was a joy in it of itself.

So Peridot gripped Lapis’ ass tighter and forced herself in with even more vigor while Lapis continued to scream “Brent” just as Peridot instructed her to. 

“YOU LIKE THAT, LAZULI!? YOU LIKE THAT!?” Peridot cried senselessly.

Lapis couldn’t manage a reply anymore, she was just a pile of mush moaning incomprehensible nothings while Peridot plowed away at her.

Still, her cries intensified and Peridot responded with more force until a shrill scream came out.

“AAAAAHHHH FUCK! I’M CUMMING I’M CUMMIN-GAAAH!” Lapis convulsed violently for a moment before collapsing on herself, a torrent of watery cum squirting out of her in intermittent spurts. One of the shots sprayed Peridot hard enough that it took her aback, and she ended up falling off her bench and pulling out of lapis.

“Oh...my...Sh-should I keep going?” Peridot asked the barely conscious Lapis while picking herself up from the ground. “I should stop...right?”

“Dowhevat ou wah” Lapis said with her mouth full of bedsheet, her ass still pointed upwardly and leaking fluid

Peridot walked back up to Lapis to examine her handiwork. “A pretty good ‘fucking’ if I do say so myself.” Peridot said, congratulating herself. 

She then ran her finger against Lapis’ vagina and globbed a bit of the fluid on her finger before having a taste “Hmmm, I expected it to taste sweeter,” Peridot remarked before tasting more.

 

“Peridot, I never had sex before but I think we nailed our first time.” Lapis said while cleaning herself off with her hydrokinesis ability. “It’s too bad you couldn’t cum inside me. I want to learn how being ‘cream pied’ feels.”

“Isn’t that something clowns do?” Lapis somehow managed to stump Peridot with a human expression she was more unfamiliar with for once.

“It’s when a male ejaculates semen into a female’s vagina,” Lapis explained.

“So is the vagina is the pie? Wouldn’t it be the oven?” Peridot genuinely pondered. “So the clowns get the pies they throw from…”

“Just… don’t think about it too much.” Lapis pleaded for Peridot to not continue that line of thought.

“You know, they actually had male organ replicas with fake ejaculate?” Peridot remarked, “I figured things would’ve gotten too messy if I took it too far.” 

“WE HAVE TO GET THEM FOR NEXT TIME!” Lapis took hold of Peridot’s arms.

“Actually, after earlier events, I’ve decided I’m going to redouble my efforts to shapeshift my own sex organs!” Peridot replied enthusiastically. “The experience I had watching you lose yourself like that, it made me wish I could feel what you did. Lapis, I want us to fuck each other!”

“Yeah, that’s the spirit! We’ll surpass our limitations in the pursuit of pleasure!” They both went for a high five but instead awkwardly fumbled a few times before finally connecting.

“Still kind of sticky…” Peridot noted before licking her fingers again.


End file.
